Tag: judgement

Feb 19

How To Overcome Regrets In Life

Do you regret things in your life?

How many times have you woken up thinking “I should have done this! I should have done that?” Did it ever help you?

How to overcome regrets in life by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

[pullquote align=” right” textalign=” right” width=”30%”]Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that life would be easy.
They just promised that it would be worth it.[/pullquote]

What does our past teach us about life?

We sometimes have beliefs about people.  We can learn from our parent’s beliefs alternate ways we desire to live.  Many of us formed beliefs as children that inhibit us from a prosperous future. Some of us desire to learn from our past and try not to repeat it.

Taking responsibility for our own life, should we take time to judge the motives of others? After all, we haven’t walked in their shoes? If we have ever ended a relationship due to beliefs you had about that person, we may regret that error in judgment after a while.

Most of the time, our regrets are caused by our beliefs. If we know someone who has failed or we have failed ourselves, regretting is another way of punishing ourselves. When we come to that place where we say “why did I do that?”, it’s like yelling at the child for spilling the milk. Instead, we ought to set up a belief that feeling badly for spilling the milk is a poor error in judgment. We are punishing ourselves and this error shows up in regret.

We can be our own best friend though it may be difficult to figure out what that looks and feels like. Why? Because  we may have grown up with a belief that we are sinners, or that we are not perfect. Perhaps we’ve been told we’ll never amount to anything. Additionally, we may have beliefs formed earlier in life resembling those above. Later as adults, we received accolades that we are so wonderful. But we may not be able to receive those compliments because we don’t believe that about ourselves. So sad.

Developing better beliefs that match our present abilities and enhance dreams for our future will help us achieve them much more quickly.  This can help you achieve happiness today.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

War, tragedy, marital breakup, fatal sickness, and things like these seem to be signs of great failure. But there is another better way to see these events and circumstances. But do you know how to?

Keep our thoughts at home where they belong. We have enough to do in a day to judge our own thoughts, actions, ideas and beliefs. By judging others, we are basically judging ourselves.

Being mature is the goal in life. As we attain to maturity, we learn from our experiences. We gain knowledge through coaches and teachers as well as books on the subject of our desires.

Changes in life

Have you ever felt out of control when changes occurred? Most of us have felt this when we have no rules set up for what must happen in order for us to feel happy. Without rules for happiness, changes may appear bad. However, changes are a turn in the road. That change could be what takes you to a better place, a better relationship, a better job or home. For some reason, we insist that changes are “done to us”. This victim mentality indicates that we have not set up the necessary rules for happiness.

We can set up rules that make it very easy for us to succeed and difficult for us to fail. But these must take that place of rules set up earlier by well meaning parents or teachers. Parents who encourage their children to succeed may set up a belief that a “B” is good but an “A” is better. A child may need to get an “A” in order to feel successful. Again, this sad state adults find themselves in make it difficult for them to feel successful because the rules they made for what success looks like.

 

A good rule might be “if I have learned something from it, then I have success”. Therefore it makes it easy to achieve. Additionally, we can treat our own children with the same belief and create a rule in our family to foster a feeling of success if something is learned by an experience. A child will begin to look for things they learned so that they feel successful. So simple, this rule will not lead to regret.

[pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”30%”]Are you living a balanced life? Sacrifice is good but balance is better because self love always must preceed loving others in order to really help others.[/pullquote] If you are in good health, body, mind and spirit, you are going to be the most helpful, beneficial influence for others.

What were you born to do?

We were born to grow like a plant, to expand our leaves and bear fruit and provide shade for others. If life is easy, we are not growing. This could mean, we begin to die slowly. Those who retire may no longer want the stress or challenge that comes with life, but will soon come to death without the desire to expand. Life is no meant to be “hard”. Our life should be a continual process of growing. This belief will help us to live a balance life while loving ourself and others.

How to overcome regrets in life by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

So what makes life worth it?

Our life’s goal is to live a balanced life, loving ourselves and others. We should look at our experiences as things to learn from. To achieve harmony by taking chances in life,  we grow and develop. Our words and actions become our fruit. Our experiences are like the stalk or trunk. Our life should make a great impact on the world around us.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-overcome-regrets-in-life/

Sep 27

The Truth About Your Emotions – Anger Management Tip

Are Your Emotions Driven By Your Values?

Are Your Emotions Driven By Your Values?

The Value Of Your Emotions

What gets you angry?  So many things could do it. It’s easy to understand the motive of an angry person. They just yell at you or walk away in silence and you know by their body language they’re angry. But what triggered that anger? Was it something you said? Why did what you say anger them?   In this Mixcloud podcast I share the top tips for what truth about emotional people and  what they value most.

Each of us has a set of rules for feeling good. Violate those rules and they begin to experience anger.  Here’s what you need to know so you can remain calm when others trigger anger in you.

1. All we value is set up in hierarchical order.

2. For some people “peace” is higher on the list that “connection”.

3. So if your conversation disrupts someone’s peaceful state, they will disconnect with you. Your connection or conversation has disrupted their emotions about peace.

 

Telling The Truth About Your Emotions

Emotions are the manifestation of our values.

To be sure your emotions are consistent with a happy life there are some steps you can take.

 

1. List your values and place them in order of most important to least important. (do 10 values)

2. See if any 2 are not consistent with each other. e.g. freedom and security.

3. Decide what you want more and switch the list around to make it easier to be happy with them.

4. Create rules about your values. e.g. Love: I love others unconditionally. OR Love: I love those who love me first.

5. Create rules that support your value priorities. e.g. Freedom: To be free means to never be tied down in a relationship. Freedom:To be free means to be in a relationship where each of us feels free to be ourselves without judgement.

 

Emotions Are Triggered By Your Values

Emotions Are Triggered By Your Values

The Truth About Values

Most of what we value is an accumulation of emotions we felt about circumstances from our past. If we desire happiness in life, we can change what we value and make rules to support a happy life that doesn’t conflict with other things we value. First thing to do is to make that list. Check it twice and see if you are in conflict. Conflicts may be contributing to a lack of success in your emotions and happiness. To be truly happy and satisfied, we create rules that help us to avoid pain and experience the most pleasure. Make your list so that it’s easy to live by.

 

Emotions and Judgement

The responsibility for our happiness lies within us. Remove any conflicts of values and you’re on your way to the happy life you desire and deserve. The scripture verses, “Judge not lest you be judged” and “Remove the speck from your eye before you try to remove the log out of someone else’s eye”, show what our character should be when it comes to our judgement of others. When we speak out emotionally against the way another person lives, we are showing our dissatisfaction about the things that person values. But we don’t know the “whole” of the person. Where we are weak, that other person may be strong. We ought better check ourselves and what we value. Remember that the strength of our relationships are based on the things we value most. And we all value different things most. By setting up “win win” rules that accept what others value most, we are showing good character and maintaining good emotions to which we will not be judged by others. Listen here to this supplemental podcast to learn more.

Set Up The Values You Want Most and Your Positive Emotions Will Follow.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/the-truth-about-your-emotions-anger-management-tip/