Tag: pain

Nov 25

8 Rules To Prepare You For Pain Of The Inevitable (Loss)

You See pain as a threat?

You see pain as a threat?

Pain And Panic

Most people have a firm foundation enough to be happy  with their life. However, when the inner life is threatened by too big a change for the comfort level of the outer life, a feeling of pain may be experienced. One threat to the comfort level may happen when a loved one dies. Listen to this Mixcloud podcast to hear more.

So how does one stop the pain? The inner life has a set of default rules it engages when their is such a  threat. The fight or flight response is effective for physical danger. However, when the outer life receives alarming news from a physician, a spouse, or a stranger for that matter, various  reactions can occur.

If rules are in place to manage the inner life’s vulnerability, the threat may be managed with a statement to halt or a manageable emotionally prepared response.

Sometimes an unemotional response occurs as a defense mechanism which the human has built into the brain. The experience may be too painful and the “shock” affect when at first experienced must be broken up into manageable bites. e.g. rape, unexpected death of a child.

The inner life speaks to the unknown god. The outer life prays desperately and religiously. The inner life must protect life. The outer life responds or reacts depending on the rules of emotional engagement set up by the inner life.

“If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”

This quote speaks of a “strength” one develops having experienced painful events. Do you agree with this quote? The strength of a person is really the manifestation of the rules set up in the inner life.  The “killing” has to do with the outer life, a physical event. What really occurs is that the inner life desiring to preserve itself, creates rules based on the severity of the pain. Every human has a choice to change those built in responses to those that serve them more responsibly.

What can one do today to manage a pain filled circumstance that comes to them?

Let’s assume there are 3 levels of pain. Determine ahead of time what rules to set up for each level of severity.
1. Loss of job – painful, loss of income, probably not life threatening.
2. Death of a loved one – very painful, final, closure.
3. Divorce – may be severely painful depending on circumstances, guilt, long lasting grief, change in lifestyle and family dynamics, may last a lifetime, closure rare.

Of the 3 levels, divorce is the most severe because the inner life continues to have to manage the outer life experiences.

Managing Pain

Setting up rules ahead of time for these 3 kinds of pain will prepare us so that shock is eliminated and anxiety is manageable.  What kinds of rules should we set up with our inner life?

1. We are born with adaptable instincts.
2. Our brains have the ability to keep pleasurable memories and visions of future happiness top of mind.
3. Our heart is protected by infinite intelligence (God). We can access the power of the unknown for peace and grace at all times.
4. It’s okay to not have all the answers. We do have control over how we manage our emotions so we are happy.
5. We choose to release anxiety over the unknown and enlist feelings of gratitude for ways this benefits us. We are not responsible for the unknown.
6. We choose 5 things to be grateful for at anytime. When experiencing painful or pleasurable events or circumstances, gratefulness becomes our window to happiness and peace.
7. We condition our thoughts regularly when we experience small moments of pain now and then, so we are more ready if or when greater pain occurs.
8. We state the inevitable in a once a year ritual while happy. Here are 3 examples.
a. ‘Our loved ones will die some day. I am prepared emotionally to manage my state so I am not shocked.’
b. Divorce is something I may experience and i am prepared to manage my emotions if it were to happen to me.
c. I may be laid off or fired from my job. I am prepared to manage my emotions and give myself permission to seek another job.

These rules and yearly rituals are helpful tools so that incidents of pain are traversed with power and control over our emotions. Create your list of empowering rules and statements with your particular circumstances in mind. These will help you if and when your inner life is threatened by pain.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/8-rules-to-prepare-you-for-pain-of-the-inevitable-loss/

Apr 19

Pull Out The Roots Of Failure Podcast – What Are Bitter Root Judgments?


Click This Picture And Listen To How Bitter Root Judgments May Be Keeping You From The Success You Deserve!

Listen To How Bitter Root Judgments May Be Keeping You From The Success You Deserve!

Listen Here

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Bitter Root Judgments and Forgiveness

At birth, a child cries instinctively in order to receive the pleasure of security. The pain incurred when a baby is delivered into the cold world removed from the warm stomach of the mother, causes at birth a feeling of fear and lack of security. As a child continues to grow, security is desired through many different avenues of satisfaction.

The moment a child feels the threat that brings a fear of lack of security, the child begins analyzing the surrounding for ways to feel safety again. A child may protect himself by deciding that a parent doesn’t have his safety at heart and the reaction may cause a judgement about that parent in hopes of preventing pain the child wants to avoid.

While the judgments are based on the immediate needs of the child, they are most likely not true, though this small immature mind has begun planting seeds of protection for himself. In many instances, these judgments bear fruit that causes the child to form ideas that take him further from the truth and more insecurity is created.

Parents may see fruit of these ideas being formed. However, they have no way of helping the child unless the child can plainly explain how the idea was formed earlier. These fruits must become grown up to bear fruit so as to decide whether the fruit is good or bad. At that point, a child or adult needs to take responsibility for the forgiveness to oneself as well as forgiveness to the parents or others they formed the judgment of. Forgiveness releases the judgment from the ground in which it grew and essentially, the pulling of it at it’s roots leaves room for the truth, a seed replacing the lies now exposed by the light.

Seeds and The Bitter Root

Parents are to provide the safest, loving environment they know how to provide for their children. As a child grows it’s the parents responsibility to do several things to assist the child in his discovery of a positive, successful life.

  • Children must be told they are in charge of their own mindset and must take responsibility for making good choices.
  • Growing children will make poor choices until they have a handle on the truth that they are unconditionally loved to live their true potential, to give the gifts they were born to give, to co create in true prosperity, and to become agents of change for those they will influence throughout life.
  • Parents must help them to feel safe.
  • Parents or those responsible for children must provide a belief system to support a life of  freedom, beauty and wonder of life, and  the possibilities to create available to them.

Competition and The Bitter Root

Some children feel there is no time for them. This judgment about their parents, especially when both parents work or when the children are raised by a single individual, cause the child to feel they must compete for their parents time. When their are other siblings, the competition stalls the productivity of the child’s mindset growth. This judgment is opposite to the truth that if a child is born, time makes a way to provide for him opportunity to grow, develop and have the love and safety needed.

  • Teach your child that their value is in the clay. They are valuable because they were born. They didn’t have to earn their value. The safety of their value grants them true life because they deserve it! God has SERVED (De – Serve) them to this earth for a purpose and it’s their privilege to live it out by seeking true life.
  • Children have purpose and should write out their “chief aim” for the next 5 years, repeating this every 5 years for the rest of their life. Thinking with the end in mind, children will reach forward toward the legacy they have purposed from early on. We have the freedom to believe in a positive future, whatever it is. Focus, get clear, and step forward believing it is happening daily!
  • Teach your children that nothing will get in their way. There is always a door to go through to take them towards the safety, security, happiness and joy they desire. This truth is so valuable, you may want to read it again!

Security and The Bitter Root

  • Remind your child that you are learning too! With age comes wisdom. They must expect to have more wisdom with age as well. Help them feel secure knowing you are working towards greater knowledge of living a happy, productive, successful life as they desire also.

Things To Consider about Bitter Root

  1. Who is responsible for your success in business and life?
  2. Decide to believe the best!
  3. Follow the fruit to the root of Bitter Root Judgments
  4. Turn on the light of failures in thought which caused bitter root judgments.
  5. Speak out loud with the same vigor of emotion used when you first “believed” the lie, and state the truth about it, denouncing its power. Forgive yourself and others with a simple statement from the heart.
  6.  Plant and protect the soil with a seed of truth that will grow a crop of good thoughts toward prosperity instead.
  7. Ask God (higher power, universe) to show you His love for you.
  8. Ask questions of others to clarify truth.
  9. Be a communicator.
  10. Direct others towards a fulfilling life free of bitter root judgements.
  11. Listen to the podcast here:  

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Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/pull-out-the-roots-of-failure-podcast-what-are-bitter-root-judgments/

Jan 29

Secrets To Happiness, Power and Freedom From Fear – Answers To Questions You Didn’t Know to Ask About Fear

Secrets To Happiness, Power and Freedom From Fear – Answers To Questions You Didn’t Know to Ask by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

Fear is pain and no baby wants it.

They cry till they get relief. When a baby grows up they stop crying for one of 2 reasons. Their fears have been relieved by supportive family and friends or they shrink back resolving that life is just like that!

Fear Is The Absence Of Faith

Fear Is The Absence Of Faith

There’s so much more to life than struggle and fear.

Fear is crippling while faith and knowledge lead to ultimate freedom and success all around.
I found this out when I was a child. I also found this out when I went through separation and divorce. Your circumstances will reflect the way you deal with your thought life.

Fear is the absence of faith

But love is a precursor of faith. Discover what true love is when you get more help with overcoming fear here.

Do you feel isolated? Do you feel like you aren’t being affirmed for who you are? Do you know
your gifts? Have you reflected upon them and have embraced the ones who affirm who you are?

Find out what happens when we’re babies that makes the biggest difference in fear in adulthood.

Also find out how you can change your life in an easy to understand way and grant you the
success  and validation you desire and deserve!

Has life messed your plans up? Have your circumstances made you lose your momentum in
business? Has loss of money caused you to doubt your ability to pay your bills? Do you drink
or smoke your worries away?

No matter our age or employment, problems with fear must be addressed. If we feel we have value, potential,
and purpose yet something just isn’t right, gaining knowledge on how to overcome fear will help us! In the case of fear, ignorance is NOT bliss! Our life is extremely precious and being able to change our mind so we can live free from fear is the straightest path to happiness.

 Learn What FEAR Is Doing To You! You Deserve Success and Fear is keeping you from it!

If you liked this, you may also find these 14 life changing audios on the how to think better once we have addressed and overcome fear, helpful. It’s our birthright to be free. We must not let fear keep us in the dark.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/secrets-to-happiness-power-and-freedom-from-fear-answers-to-questions-you-didnt-know-to-ask-about-fear/