Category: How To…

May 02

#1 Quality All True Leaders Have

#1 quality true leaders havehip That Help Your Children Leaders

#1 quality true leaders have

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This weeks podcast expounds on this statement and reveals the quality great leaders have.

A wise man once said “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”

My boyfriend wanted to paint his bedroom over. At first, I told him it was a mess and we needed to clean it up and make is just a bedroom and not an office, a gun room and a tv room. But that startled him, especially when I told him the way I’d approach it. He had his own way of cleaning and organizing and it made me wonder if I was going to be able to help him at all.

After some time, and a bit of communication, he shared his approach, which is much like the way he does many other things. He wanted to do it once and do it right. He wanted me to be there to support him. Later on, after reading the above quote, I discovered what my task as a leader over my own life and emotions.

Leaders envision something great

Leaders envision something great

The vision of  leaders

While cleaning up some paperwork of my own, I came across a program about goal setting using the SMART system. One point that jumped out what to state your “outcomes” clearly and specifically. The goal at hand is paint the bedroom and maintain harmony. I wrote down the “first step” after writing a clear set of outcomes I wanted from the project.

 The love of  leaders

Instead of setting a goal, what is better to do is create well formed outcomes. There is a process to this.

  1. State the outcome in  positive statements
  2. Ensure the outcome is within your control, not others
  3. Be very specific
  4. Use sensory based procedure
  5. Consider the context
  6. Ensure access to resources
  7. Outcomes must preserve existing benefits
  8. Outcomes must be ecologically sound
  9. Define the first step

 

So I began to list the outcomes I saw as my goal using positive statements, considering outcomes that I could control either in my mind or in the circumstances.  Many of the statements used words like feel free, enjoy waking up happy, feel an easiness, seeing things I love… and others. All these words are sensory statements suggested. The context involved someone else besides me and I needed to understand what he wanted.

I knew I had the resources I needed because my passion is decorating and my skill is a creative designer. I needed to be sure that upon taking on the project, the outcome would be more beneficial for the both of us and create even a better relationship, which would preserve the existing freedom we are hoping to enlarge.

Lastly, I had to consider the time involved and whether is was worth going through the process. Would it make the bedroom more conducive to happiness and pleasure? As I wrote my list I included outcomes that I consider ecologically sound.

 

Leadership begins at home

Leadership begins at home

Leaders and love strategies

Over the years, I have learned more about leading children. Every parent is a leader. While I embraced my role, I learned that leaders make mistakes as they grow. We must forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and forgive others as is needed at the present time. Leaders do not arrive. I am still on the journey and will continue to develop leadership qualities as a whole person for the rest of my days. My hope is that what I am learning will benefit you along your journey.

Anthony Williams shared a list of goals we must consider when growing our “love” for others. We must understand the person, have compassion for them, feel joy in the relationship, desire freedom for love to develop.

I hope that I have experienced enough to understand you. I do have compassion for you as a person seeking the qualities of a great leader. I know the struggles and the satisfaction I receive from sharing my posts. I feel joy in connecting with you; a joy on the inside that keeps me going. I desire to be free is sharing and developing my audience and I hope that you feel the freedom to comment and connect with me for more podcasts like this.

In this podcast, I get clear on how a leader loves others and what is the opposite of leadership. Click Here to  subscribe. To subscribe using iTunes, click the “podcast” tab above.

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Enjoy learning more about the #1 quality true leaders must have. leaders

 

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/1-quality-all-true-leaders-have-2/

Apr 29

A Simple Secret To Feeling Great Every Day

Feeling Great Will Stop This

Feeling Great Will Stop This

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Do you find yourself punishing yourself for the experiences you are facing right now?

Would you like to live your best life every day? Listen to this weeks podcast and discover the secret for feeling great every day! You can stop feeling guilty for your mistakes. You can keep feeling great without regrets.

 

The Secret To Feeling Great

There is a secret trick that brings clarity and the happy life you want. When I went through divorce, I isolated myself somewhat and subconsciously punished myself with a loss of self confidence. I made financial mistakes and punished myself by being fearful of taking any risks at all. You may identify with these extreme measures if you are have high standards of success like me. It’s so sad how long it lasted because I lacked the wisdom I needed to embrace this secret. I heard it. I said it. But I didn’t embrace it wholeheartedly until my attitude was right.

You can stop harming yourself and others when you learn this secret. These are some of the ways life will get better for you.

Getting a good handle on our life, spiritually, in your mindset, and physically, we must learn the secret so we can  plow through our future with surety.

Feeling Great Will Start This

Feeling Great Will Start This

Some of the ways the secret will get us feeling great.

  1. We will think about ourselves differently.
  2. We will think about others more positively
  3. We will have a life of order and happiness.

 

Feeling great starts:

  • To create a love for oneself and others that was missing.
  • To wake up daily and know how to feel great right away.
  • By daily practice with conscious effort we push aside the negatives.
  • We attract other who want what we want as well.
  • Our friendships are trustworthy.
  • Our relationship to our source is strong and secure
  • Our wealth becomes measurable by the smiles we give and receive from others.

 

You will help others feel great too!

You will help others feel great too!

Leadership and feeling great

Do you want to feel great every day? This podcast will give you the secret you can use to begin the process. What happens next is up to you. Applying this secret and searching for further knowledge, you can begin to give hope to others and become a leader others want to follow. Feeling great begins at home, with you.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/a-simple-secret-to-feeling-great-every-day/

Apr 17

How to Overcome the Fear of Missing Out!

Do you feel like you are missing out on peace?

Do you feel like you are missing out on peace?

Ever feel like you’re missing out on happiness?

Do you wish your success would come already? We can overcome this fear of loss and missing out with a change of mindset. Listen and learn how it’s done with a simple method of belief.

How to overcome the fear of missing out! by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

We don’t have to miss out any longer. I shared a story about growing up in chaos and my desire for peace. I felt like I was missing out on so many things. Of course, as an adult, I’ve learned to adjust but my life would have been so different if I had known how to think about timing of what I wanted.

Do you feel like you are missing out on success?

Do you feel like you are missing out on success?

Missing out on success

For years, with all the misunderstandings I had about my self worth, I had no clue about how to feel a sense of success. But as time progressed slowly, with knowledge I gleaned from books, prayer and experience, I came to see that timing is perfect. Today is the day of your success as you believe it to be. No more waiting and missing out on success.

Missing out because of circumstances

For years, I experienced circumstances that left me feeling like I would never get to the lifestyle of peace that I wanted. My saving grace came when I returned to faith and family. Getting married and having children, I had a sense of purpose and finally I used my experiences and knowledge to direct myself to be a good mom and wife. My environment was peaceful for the most part. My children were gentle and I maintained peace in my home, which was my ultimate goal. Later, when we moved, chaos was stirred up again and I had to learn more about myself so I could feel at peace again.

Do you feel like you are missing out on the right circumstances??

Do you feel like you are missing out on the right circumstances??

No longer feeling like I’m missing out

When I discovered a concept that there is no such thing as “waiting” and that waiting meant a lack of faith, I was stirred to dig further. As you listen to the podcast here, you’ll discover the fine line of belief needed to stop oneself from feeling like you are missing out on one more thing.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-missing-out/

Mar 13

How to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts

Podcast On Thoughts

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Do you have negative thoughts you want to change into positive thoughts?

The subconscious mind dominates our thinking. We can influence it by using this simple method.

In Napoleon Hill’s book “Think And Grow Rich”, he gives us a lift of emotions that rule our thoughts. Yes, I said “rule our thoughts”!  Here’s his list.

The seven major Positive Emotions

  • Desire
  •  faith
  •  love
  •  sex
  •  enthusiasm
  • romance
  • hope
how to change your negative thoughts

How do you keep from changing your
negative thoughts

The seven major Negative Emotions

  • Fear
  • jealousy
  • hatred
  • revenge
  • greed
  • superstition
  • anger

The following quote really tells us how negative emotions affect our thoughts.

Miserable people focus on the things they hate about their life. Happy people focus on the things they love about their life. Zig Ziglar
 

How to change your negative thoughts about people

How to change your negative thoughts about people

 

Now this quote is an example of a thought life dominated by positive emotions.

Your peace is more important than anything that makes you mad. Allowing anger to fester and fuel up inside us paves the way to sin. Focus on God and your relationship with Him rather than the wrong that’s been done to you, because your peace is more important. Joyce Meyer

Thought life and your peace

Success in life begins with our mindset. Setting childish thoughts aside, we put on a thought life strengthened by emotions that console, comfort and direct our future thoughts with power.
 

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Use this meditation exercise daily for maximum help to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-change-your-negative-thoughts-to-positive-thoughts/

Feb 19

How To Overcome Regrets In Life

Do you regret things in your life?

How many times have you woken up thinking “I should have done this! I should have done that?” Did it ever help you?

How to overcome regrets in life by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

[pullquote align=” right” textalign=” right” width=”30%”]Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that life would be easy.
They just promised that it would be worth it.[/pullquote]

What does our past teach us about life?

We sometimes have beliefs about people.  We can learn from our parent’s beliefs alternate ways we desire to live.  Many of us formed beliefs as children that inhibit us from a prosperous future. Some of us desire to learn from our past and try not to repeat it.

Taking responsibility for our own life, should we take time to judge the motives of others? After all, we haven’t walked in their shoes? If we have ever ended a relationship due to beliefs you had about that person, we may regret that error in judgment after a while.

Most of the time, our regrets are caused by our beliefs. If we know someone who has failed or we have failed ourselves, regretting is another way of punishing ourselves. When we come to that place where we say “why did I do that?”, it’s like yelling at the child for spilling the milk. Instead, we ought to set up a belief that feeling badly for spilling the milk is a poor error in judgment. We are punishing ourselves and this error shows up in regret.

We can be our own best friend though it may be difficult to figure out what that looks and feels like. Why? Because  we may have grown up with a belief that we are sinners, or that we are not perfect. Perhaps we’ve been told we’ll never amount to anything. Additionally, we may have beliefs formed earlier in life resembling those above. Later as adults, we received accolades that we are so wonderful. But we may not be able to receive those compliments because we don’t believe that about ourselves. So sad.

Developing better beliefs that match our present abilities and enhance dreams for our future will help us achieve them much more quickly.  This can help you achieve happiness today.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

War, tragedy, marital breakup, fatal sickness, and things like these seem to be signs of great failure. But there is another better way to see these events and circumstances. But do you know how to?

Keep our thoughts at home where they belong. We have enough to do in a day to judge our own thoughts, actions, ideas and beliefs. By judging others, we are basically judging ourselves.

Being mature is the goal in life. As we attain to maturity, we learn from our experiences. We gain knowledge through coaches and teachers as well as books on the subject of our desires.

Changes in life

Have you ever felt out of control when changes occurred? Most of us have felt this when we have no rules set up for what must happen in order for us to feel happy. Without rules for happiness, changes may appear bad. However, changes are a turn in the road. That change could be what takes you to a better place, a better relationship, a better job or home. For some reason, we insist that changes are “done to us”. This victim mentality indicates that we have not set up the necessary rules for happiness.

We can set up rules that make it very easy for us to succeed and difficult for us to fail. But these must take that place of rules set up earlier by well meaning parents or teachers. Parents who encourage their children to succeed may set up a belief that a “B” is good but an “A” is better. A child may need to get an “A” in order to feel successful. Again, this sad state adults find themselves in make it difficult for them to feel successful because the rules they made for what success looks like.

 

A good rule might be “if I have learned something from it, then I have success”. Therefore it makes it easy to achieve. Additionally, we can treat our own children with the same belief and create a rule in our family to foster a feeling of success if something is learned by an experience. A child will begin to look for things they learned so that they feel successful. So simple, this rule will not lead to regret.

[pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”30%”]Are you living a balanced life? Sacrifice is good but balance is better because self love always must preceed loving others in order to really help others.[/pullquote] If you are in good health, body, mind and spirit, you are going to be the most helpful, beneficial influence for others.

What were you born to do?

We were born to grow like a plant, to expand our leaves and bear fruit and provide shade for others. If life is easy, we are not growing. This could mean, we begin to die slowly. Those who retire may no longer want the stress or challenge that comes with life, but will soon come to death without the desire to expand. Life is no meant to be “hard”. Our life should be a continual process of growing. This belief will help us to live a balance life while loving ourself and others.

How to overcome regrets in life by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

So what makes life worth it?

Our life’s goal is to live a balanced life, loving ourselves and others. We should look at our experiences as things to learn from. To achieve harmony by taking chances in life,  we grow and develop. Our words and actions become our fruit. Our experiences are like the stalk or trunk. Our life should make a great impact on the world around us.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-overcome-regrets-in-life/

Feb 11

The #1 Success Secret For The Sinner – Seeing Ourself

The #1 Success Secret For The Sinner by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

How do we see ourself if we were told we are a sinner?

If we are raised with the sinner philosophy, our redeemed identity lies in creating a healthy foundation for success. It begins with a mindset that many in this world lack to varying degrees. It’s such a little secret that it’s easy to miss. Our parents and teachers may not know this success secret either.

Jesus reflecting on sin to god

Jesus reflecting on sin to god

Should we have faith in our parents?

As children, our initial thought is to trust others without question.

1. Parents who model good behavior help us believe they love and support us unconditionally.
2. Teachers who model good skill may be trusted and believed if what we are learning seems to advance us towards success.
3. Pastors and Priests may be trusted as we feel we’re getting the training that makes us feel good about God and ourself.

In each case, these mentors can help us or hurt our understanding of how to succeed in life. Because of their placement as authority figures we are vulnerable and therefore susceptible to possible corruption.

Belief in ourself and sinning

My lack of knowledge as a youth in the church traumatized me for years. A slight error in judgment early on led me on a life path of failure of heart believing I was a sinner condemned, not loved. I didn’t trust myself which led to my lack of trust of others. I didn’t understand why I lacked confidence and didn’t trust others until many many years later. Because of my desire for truth, I came to learn that Jesus, mature in the knowledge of the truth, modeled someone we could believe and learn from. Trusting Jesus’ teachings, we can achieve a place of maturity and holiness. Knowing God, Jesus taught us how to love God and love ourself in a more holy way.

The Church and our belief

We cannot trust ourselves when making decisions and choices without a proper understanding of self love. We must learn how to set goals with belief in ourself. Leaning on Jesus’ teachings, we learn how to love ourselves more and accept our failures, forgive ourself and keep going forward towards the whole life he knows will bring us success.

[pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”30%”]

God loves all of us; our strengths and weaknesses.

We have to love and have belief in ourself and take responsibility for our life.

[/pullquote]

 

Trusting ourself

We must come to that place of decision. We must seek out and find the truth about love, about God’s love for us, about love and forgivness of others. With this understanding, we learn how to believe in God and love, nurture, encourage and build ourselves up in love to success.

Then as we create goals we can accomplish, we must believe that we deserve them. With this belief, we will absolutely trust our decisions and reach the success we desire. Speaking and talking ourself up, we support ourself and properly nurture ourself as we would others we love.

Speaking ourself up

Daily, speaking words of instruction and encouragement, we build for ourself a life that works. Using the models of others who teach us strategies for success, we set goals and learn how to dream about our future, trusting that our dreams will come true. We can only do this with a belief in God and in ourselves.

  • We trust in God that the laws set in place will bring our dreams into reality.
  • We trust in ourself that we can have what we want because we are worth it, deserve it and because this is what life is for.
  • This glorifies God and pleases Him.
What does Jesus pray with sinner

What does Jesus say to this sinner?

Satisfaction in ourself

Do you think we are born so we can condemn ourself? Have you noticed those of us who judge others and have made a habit of complaining about life. These attitudes and habits are a reflection of how we think about and treat ourself.

[pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”30%”]What we see is who we are.[/pullquote]

The Secret

We will live without whole life or we can develop ourselves and succeed in life. The secret we miss when we go after success is the knowledge of how and why to love ourself. Let’s not let the ignorant teachings of some childhood authorities keep us in the dark by telling us we’re sinners hopeless without a savior. Jesus modeled the life we all are born for. Salvation makes sense when it’s about Jesus’ love and not our sin.

If we are failing in life and things are getting darker, this secret will save us. But how we see ourself is important. We are marvelous individuals with the power to create the life we were born to create. Let this slight error in judgment, believing that we are sinners, be the catalyst to get us to the next step, which is to learn how to love ourself and build ourself up.

Keep negative people at bay

When I was told that I put Jesus on the cross, I didn’t understand what I’d done. What I heard was not what was the truth. It took many many years before I corrected my belief and in my heart understood Jesus’ model of love. He chose the cross. He went of His own fruition. I didn’t put him there. What a terrible idea to plant in children’s heads. We have a chance to model godly behavior when we know how to love and nurture ourself. Jesus is one model of great love. There are hundreds of models.

[pullquote align=”left|center|right” textalign=”left|center|right” width=”30%”]Love yourself today and build yourself up in love.[/pullquote]

Let’s not allow our misunderstandings taught by ignorant people keep us from the truth that we are unconditionally loved to live our true potential. We each have gifts we were born to give. We can co create in true prosperity and become global agents of change for our planet. Or we can live a more simple life modeling godly behavior in whatever way we desire.

The #1 Success Secret For The Sinner by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

Go right to the source for knowledge and mentorship. Build a foundation for success that withstands the world, inside or outside the authority places of your youth. As we each love ourself, success is present and dreams will absolutely become reality.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/the-1-success-secret-for-the-sinner-seeing-ourself-2/

Jan 29

What Is Numerology And How Can It Help Me Feel Successful?

numerology is a science

Numerology is a science

Numerology and childhood

Many of us are taught early on to fear the unknown and listen only to what our church believes? Some of us want to know more and we sense that the truth is out there somewhere. With wisdom and experience, we gather knowledge from many sources and help ourselves feel successful while living a well rounded balanced life. Numerology is one source that may help.

What is Numerology and how can it help me? by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

Science of Numerology

For your FREE Numerology Reading,Click Here!

When I was in college, a guy came to me one night chanting all this stuff about how numbers could tell you about yourself and I didn’t understand, nor did I feel confident about it. My upbringing never entertained anything but prayer to help me know about my future. Most of it would remain unknown. When I was a kid, my sister had a friend who was a “medium”. This woman freaked me out. She wore too much makeup and they shut the lights out to do a sayounce. I knew it was wrong and it frightened me. Someone in 6th grade brought a wee gee board to school and they played around with it asking questions about when our teacher would get married. This too struck me as something powerful but the source, unknown. I shyed away from those things and sought prayer along for assistance with my future.

Numerology and the church

If you were brought up in the Catholic religion, you would have heard that things of this nature were of the devil and if you practiced them, you would go to hell. In my experience even as a young adult, pastors who preached “claiming” things as theirs were said to be “off” and should be feared and stayed away from. Numerology is a science and not a religion. The bible is said to be filled with numbers. The middle book of the bible has significance. The numbers of the books means something else. It’s been discovered that the numerology was discovered over 4000 years ago when someone found symbols on the underside of a tortoise shell.

The only piece of wisdom I discovered in my investigation I share in my audio. It has to do with the way they come up with one’s personal numbers. Your life path, expression, and soul urge numbers are one of the 5 prime numbers, 1,3,5,7, or 9. In the free mini reading, you get your numbers and an explanation in several paragraphs. When I read one statement, I actually teared up because I felt that “someone” actually understood me on the inside. This gave me some confidence in the reading.

Is Numerology safe?

One of the comments I read on the sales page stated that only “part” of what the report said was spot on. This helped me to keep an open mind and proceed with caution. I tend to trust spiritual things because people who study things of this nature are generally honest. Few people would risk sharing information that would harm others because they realize that they reap what they sow and this is one area we must be careful not to sow bad seed into others. Some call this “karma”. The Holy Bible calls it “reaping”.

If you seek truth and want to learn more, listen as I share quick tips about numerology.

What is Numerology and how can it help me? by Caryn Elizabeth on Mixcloud

Post by Caryn Elizabeth.

For your FREE Numerology Reading,Click Here!

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/what-is-numerology-and-how-can-it-help-me-feel-successful/

Jan 15

How To Have Peace Of Mind

peace of mind

We can have peace of mind

Peace of mind and You

Ever feel like you’re going to die? Without inspiration, peace in life is useless. Success philosophies teach strategies to make money, have more time, and gain freedom. But there are times when all those strategies don’t seem to work.

Peace  and Personal Experience

Divorce struck me hard and my peace was gone. I struggled for 3 years to overcome what I thought I should. Later, as I worked through fear I failed in several online business opportunities. Then I became inspired to write a book about my experiences.  In  ” Branding You The Brand New You“, I was inspired to share my story about almost got scammed on Match.com. Then I talk about some of the men I chatted with on Plenty of fish dating site. My photos and profile were complete and even more than other women’s profiles, which gave different impressions to various men. One guys comment was, “So you think you’re all that! You ought to take a look in the mirror!”.  My book tells the conclusion.   Overall, the dating sites gave me an idea of what single men were about. I did a lot of counseling them on their profiles and their mindset, as I was learning about it myself.  Through  spiritual inspiration and a desire to meet someone perfect for me, after 2 years of dating sites, I met a great guy offline. While at a business meeting for Pike County Builders Association, I followed up with those I met for work as a social media manager and website creator. He was one of those I emailed. And he returned an email response which made me reply again. The rest is a beautiful story for another book.  Life after divorce gets better and my peace of mind is being restored in that area.

Peace and Life

Without inspiration,  life stagnates.  Napoleon Hill shared these success strategies in his great book “Think And Grow Rich“. He addresses leadership and finding mentors that inspire.  Leadership principles teach the need for goals and dreams. They help give us a guide for satisfaction in our personal and family life, our employment and our business. Without knowing our own mind  and how to find things that inspire us, making use of drive and affect as a leader is limited or useless when peace is the goal. Combining self development strategies, learning how to set goals, and gather things that inspire spiritual perception, we can find true peace in life.

Peace of mind  and Satisfaction

When we begin in life, we want money and things. Time and  experience tells us there is more to having a satisfying life than goods alone. Many sacrifice peace in search of satisfaction through the accumulation of stuff. . Joe Vitale shares much in his book ” Zero Limits ”  about where to get that success consciousness without sacrificing peace of mind.

There is more to life than money but we all know that without money, we can have little of the things that make life easier and gives us opportunities to serve others, which is very satisfying.  Failure can be erased as new impressions, dreams and goals are formed when we gather around us those people and things that inspire us. Napoleon Hill shares how to have true peace in his book Grow Rich With Peace Of Mind.

 

Post by Caryn Elizabeth.

Peace of mind begins when inspiration is soundly in place.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-have-peace-of-mind/

Dec 18

How To Find Happiness By Using Social Media

Post by Caryn Elizabeth.

Happiness is an emotion

How Can I Have Happiness?

How Can I Have Happiness?

 

How happy are you? How sad do you get? People have a varying states of happiness and during the holidays it seems to be exaggerated! High highs during parties, and low lows when you are home alone without family.

Lost a job and can’t buy gifts or have no time to shop because you are working like crazy to finish up projects before the holiday break! No matter what it is… what can help you feel better is to be an encouragement to others.

 

Happiness Is Where Your Friends Are!

Happiness Is Where Your Friends Are!

Happiness Is On Facebook

Facebook is great place to find happiness. Use Facebook to help you feel better during the holidays and re-post something funny to help your friends in need!

The holidays are sad for a lot of people who really need happiness. Those who use the power of the internet can watch YouTube videos, read interesting and inspiring articles, or read updates from friends on Facebook or other sites they subscribe to. Don’t let the holidays find you sad or alone.
Happiness Is A Mouse Click AwayHappiness Is A Mouse Click Away

Happiness Is A Mouse Click Away

Happiness is in your hands

 

Using social media, email, or the internet, you can find happiness and give a gift of encouragement to those who need it. The holiday season is meant to help us connect with a feeling of happiness and those we love. If your children live far away, use Skype or Facebook to keep in touch with them. Don’t let Christmas find you alone. Connect with others using the technology given as a gift to the earth. Have faith.
For a heartwarming tale of happiness with a moral, for kids and adults alike, download or read “The Undecorated Christmas Tree” story at http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/the-un…

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/how-to-find-happiness-by-using-social-media/

Nov 25

8 Rules To Prepare You For Pain Of The Inevitable (Loss)

You See pain as a threat?

You see pain as a threat?

Pain And Panic

Most people have a firm foundation enough to be happy  with their life. However, when the inner life is threatened by too big a change for the comfort level of the outer life, a feeling of pain may be experienced. One threat to the comfort level may happen when a loved one dies. Listen to this Mixcloud podcast to hear more.

Post by Caryn Elizabeth.

So how does one stop the pain? The inner life has a set of default rules it engages when their is such a  threat. The fight or flight response is effective for physical danger. However, when the outer life receives alarming news from a physician, a spouse, or a stranger for that matter, various  reactions can occur.

If rules are in place to manage the inner life’s vulnerability, the threat may be managed with a statement to halt or a manageable emotionally prepared response.

Sometimes an unemotional response occurs as a defense mechanism which the human has built into the brain. The experience may be too painful and the “shock” affect when at first experienced must be broken up into manageable bites. e.g. rape, unexpected death of a child.

The inner life speaks to the unknown god. The outer life prays desperately and religiously. The inner life must protect life. The outer life responds or reacts depending on the rules of emotional engagement set up by the inner life.

“If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”

This quote speaks of a “strength” one develops having experienced painful events. Do you agree with this quote? The strength of a person is really the manifestation of the rules set up in the inner life.  The “killing” has to do with the outer life, a physical event. What really occurs is that the inner life desiring to preserve itself, creates rules based on the severity of the pain. Every human has a choice to change those built in responses to those that serve them more responsibly.

What can one do today to manage a pain filled circumstance that comes to them?

Let’s assume there are 3 levels of pain. Determine ahead of time what rules to set up for each level of severity.
1. Loss of job – painful, loss of income, probably not life threatening.
2. Death of a loved one – very painful, final, closure.
3. Divorce – may be severely painful depending on circumstances, guilt, long lasting grief, change in lifestyle and family dynamics, may last a lifetime, closure rare.

Of the 3 levels, divorce is the most severe because the inner life continues to have to manage the outer life experiences.

Managing Pain

Setting up rules ahead of time for these 3 kinds of pain will prepare us so that shock is eliminated and anxiety is manageable.  What kinds of rules should we set up with our inner life?

1. We are born with adaptable instincts.
2. Our brains have the ability to keep pleasurable memories and visions of future happiness top of mind.
3. Our heart is protected by infinite intelligence (God). We can access the power of the unknown for peace and grace at all times.
4. It’s okay to not have all the answers. We do have control over how we manage our emotions so we are happy.
5. We choose to release anxiety over the unknown and enlist feelings of gratitude for ways this benefits us. We are not responsible for the unknown.
6. We choose 5 things to be grateful for at anytime. When experiencing painful or pleasurable events or circumstances, gratefulness becomes our window to happiness and peace.
7. We condition our thoughts regularly when we experience small moments of pain now and then, so we are more ready if or when greater pain occurs.
8. We state the inevitable in a once a year ritual while happy. Here are 3 examples.
a. ‘Our loved ones will die some day. I am prepared emotionally to manage my state so I am not shocked.’
b. Divorce is something I may experience and i am prepared to manage my emotions if it were to happen to me.
c. I may be laid off or fired from my job. I am prepared to manage my emotions and give myself permission to seek another job.

These rules and yearly rituals are helpful tools so that incidents of pain are traversed with power and control over our emotions. Create your list of empowering rules and statements with your particular circumstances in mind. These will help you if and when your inner life is threatened by pain.

Permanent link to this article: http://carynelizabeth.com/blog/8-rules-to-prepare-you-for-pain-of-the-inevitable-loss/

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